Jack And Jill

Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side and said, "When I got married to your mother the first thing I did when we got home was to take off my trousers. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were enormous on her and she said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too large. I said to her "Of course they are too large for you. I wear the trousers in this family and I always will. Ever since that day we have never had a single problem."

 Jack took his father's advice to heart and as soon as he got Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing.

He took off his trousers and handed them to Jill and told her to try them on. When she did she said "I can't wear these, they're far too large for me."

"Exactly" Jack replied "I wear the trousers in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."

Then Jill took off her knickers and gave them to Jack. "Try these on Jack," she said, so he tried them on but they were too small.

"I can't get into your knickers," said Jack.

So Jill said " Exactly, and if you don't change your f*cking attitude, you never will!"