AAADD

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated  Attention Deficit Disorder.    This is how it manifests:    

I decide to wash my car.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on  the hall table.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the  trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is  full.    

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out  the trash first.    

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I  take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.    

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.    

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk  where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.    

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.    

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put  it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.    

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke a vase of flowers on  the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.    

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading  glasses that I've been searching for all morning.    

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going  to water the flowers.    

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container  with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.    

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be  looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on  the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where  it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.    

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on  the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels  and wipe up the spill.    

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was  planning to do.    

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't  paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the  flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my  checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.    

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.    

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some  help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.    

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!