Potential Bumper Stickers

1. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an asshole.

2. Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."

3. The proctologist called...they found your head.

4. Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

5. Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

6. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

7. I used to have a handle on life...but now it is broken.

8. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

9. Hang up and drive.

10. If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

11. Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

12. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

13. Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small to be out by itself.

14. Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me."

15. Don't like my driving...Then quit watching me.

16. Guys...just because you have one...doesn't mean you have to be one.

17. Welcome to America...Now speak English