Medical Computer

One day Gordie complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should go to the doctor." His friend replied, "Don't do that, there is a computer at the chemist's that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10."

Gordie figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noises and various lights started flashing.

After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it could change medical science forever, he wondered if this machine could be fooled and decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

Gordie went back to the pharmacy, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited $10. The machine again made the usual noise and printed out the following analysis:

"Your tap water is too hard - get a water softener. Your dog has worms - give him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine - put her in rehab. Your wife is pregnant with twins, they are not yours - get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better."