Psychiatric Hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press "2".

If you have multiple personalities, please press "3", "4", "5", and "6".

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.

No one will answer.