Prayers

A Girls Prayer

Lord, Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong,

One who's willy is thick and long.

One who thinks before he speaks,

When he promises to call, he won't wait weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed,

And when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows just what to say, when I ask "How big's my behind?"

One who'll make love till my body's a twitching,

In the hall, the loo, the garden and kitchen!

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And never attempt to f*ck my best friend.

And as I kneel and pray by my bed,

I look at the dork you sent me instead.

Amen.

A Boy's Prayer

Lord, I pray for a nympho

with huge boobs

who owns a liquor store.

Amen