Quickies

An Essex girl and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the Essex girl said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?"

Did you hear about the Essex girl that stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on her.

Two Essex girls observed in a car park trying to unlock the door of their Escort Cabriolet with a coat hanger.
SXG1: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"
SXG2: "Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!"

Did you hear about the Essex girl that went to library and was thrilled to find a book called "How to Hug"? She got back home and found out it was volume seven of the Encyclopedia Britannica.

An Essex girl was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The Essex girl says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"

Essex girl and Sussex girl walking down the street : Sussex girl : "Look, a dead bird"
Essex girl : (looks to sky) "Where?"

A helicopter landed at Southend Airport.
Two of the girls from the snack bar went out and threw it bits of bread.

Two Essex girls out walking in the country come upon some tracks. A furious argument ensues with one of them saying these are moose tracks and the other insisting that they're deer tracks. They were still fighting when the train hits them .

Essex man and Essex girl are in the back of his Ford Cortina.
Essex man: "Tracey, can I kiss you somewhere warm, wet and fishy?"
Tracey : "No, it's far too late to drive to Canvey Island!"