Revised Miranda Rights

You are under arrest and....

1. No, I don't care who you are.

2. No, I don't care who you know.

3. Yes... you DO pay my salary.

4. Yes... you CAN have my job.

5. No, I don't have anything better to do.

6. Yes, I DO arrest real criminals sometimes.

7. No, I am not picking on you because you are __________ (fill in any ethnic group/race).

8. No, I can't give you a break.

9. No, I don't know your friend, Officer __________.

10. Yes, you will be allowed to make a phone call.

11. Yes, I'm sure you will never do it again.

12. No, we can't talk about it.

13. Yes, it DOES make me happy.

14. Yes, you WILL see me in court.

Thank you, have a nice day.
Your Arresting Officer __________