Did you hear about the blonde that....

1.Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight

2.Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a
slope.

3.Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the
typewriter.

4.Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months
and the box said "2 to 4 years"

5.Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

6.Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

7.When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C"

8.Burnt her nose bobbing for French fries.

9.Baked a turkey for 5 days because the instructions said
1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

10.Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water
won't fit into those little packets

11.Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel.

12.Got hurt while raking leaves; fell out of the tree.

13.Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because
the label said "good up to 20 pounds"

14.After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition,
complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

15.What goes vroom-screech-vroom-screech', etc?
A blonde at a flashing red light.

16.Two blondes are trying to get into their car using a coat hanger when
one says, "Hurry, it's starting to rain and the top is down."